Category: Stillbirth

What can I do?

6/2/2013

I'm often asked the question, "My friend has just had a loss. What can I do to help?"
Of course, each person's loss is unique, as is their response to it. A miscarriage is different from an ectopic pregnancy, which is different from a stillbirth, which is different from the death of an infant. Not that one is harder or easier, but each is different. Not only that, but my miscarriage is not the same as my friend's or my co-workers or your sister's.

Proverbs 14:10 says it well: "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy."

That said, there are some things that specifically seem to bring comfort to a grieving mother after the death of her baby at any stage of pregnancy or infancy. Some things that helped me, especially after the death of Naomi:

sympathy cards acknowledging that I had a real loss; I kept every single one.
e-mails that acknowledged I had a loss; I kept every single one.
anything that used my baby's name
restaurant gift cards, especially places where you can take out or eat in, so we didn't have to think about meals.
books; An Empty Cradle, A Full Heart; The One Year Book of Hope; Grieving the Child I Never Knew; and A Guide for Fathers are some of the best.
cards that came a month later, and two months later, and on special and difficult days.
cards that came on the anniversary of Naomi's death.
jewelry to wear that reminds me of all of my children in Heaven.
something to cuddle.
a living plant that we were able to plant in memory of our baby

If someone close to you has had a loss, these links will also have ideas for you to minister to them:

Ways to Support A Parent Whose Baby has Died (a downloadable brochure from SHARE)
Helping a Friend Through a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Early Infant Death
How Churches Can Help

If you have had a loss, what specific gestures from friends were comforting to you? Share in the comments below.

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Trinity Focus December Luncheon features Judi Gatson's story of loss and healing

12/1/2011

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Next Thursday (12/8/11), the Trinity Focus Group will have a speaker for their monthly Trinity Focus Luncheon that will resonate with many of us. Judi Gatson, a journalist at WIS-TV here in Columbia, will speak about her experience of losing her son, Duce, seven months into her pregnancy, and her story of having her heart healed. She and her husband are now the parents of Aidan Kash through miracle and blessing of adoption. Details are below:

Palmetto Center for Women's Trinity Focus Luncheon
Next Thursday, December 8 // Noon to 1pm
Palmetto Club (formerly Summit Club)
The Tower at 1301 Gervais Street, 20th Floor
$20
***RESERVE your spot by calling Belinda Doss at 401-4219.
***Or you can go online right now to the Palmetto Center for Women's website at http://www.palmettocenterforwomen.org/programs-and-events.php to register and pay.
***Each woman who attends will receive a little gift surprise from the Palmetto Center for Women.

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What can I do?

Trinity Focus December Luncheon features Judi Gatson's story of loss and healing

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