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ATTENTION! Because of the coming of Hurricane Michael (which will hopefully be a tropical storm by the time it gets here), we will NOT have our October meeting Thursday, 10/11. We do plan to have our annual candlelighting remembrance service at another time this year. Stay tuned for details.
If you are local, we do invite you to two other events this month: Sunday, 10/14, is the Hearts and Hands Forever Remembrance Walk at Riverfront Park at 3:00. You do not need to register in advance, just come. It is an easy stroll, not strenuous at all. Tuesday, 10/16, the Columbia City Council is recognizing October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Kristi Bothur, Naomi's Circle founder, will be speaking and members of Naomi's Circle are invited as guests. If you would like to come, please arrive before 6:00. If you have questions, please contact us via e-mail at [email protected].
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By Rachel Raper Tonight, well after the kids were tucked into their separate beds, the baby monitor screen gives me a front row seat to view my oldest child crawling into the toddler bed with my youngest child to sing him an “original” lullaby. I watched, as only a mother would, as they hugged and sweetly comforted one another. Overshadowing my love and pride arose the stinging thought….”I’m missing one!"  You should know that I’m angry this month as my son’s fifth birthday approaches. Not road rage angry or cray-cray not fit to be in public angry, but the kind of anger that has flashes of sadness- so much so that it’s hard to tease out “am I angry or am I sad?" My heart has a scab that the Devil lifts every so often and it stays a little raw during this anniversary month. I don’t like revealing these thoughts, because it seems sinful and eerily familiar to the time following my son’s death. Those early days of grief were so heavy and Jesus has healed my wounded heart, so much so that I don’t want to take away from the positive by stating the obvious. The obvious is my child passed right by this Earthly world and nothing changed, yet everything changed. In most of my moments, during most months, I crave to remember him, smile whenever I talk about him, and honor his life by carrying out my calling in ministry. This month is different as it’s the anniversary of his death; an old memory creeps back each day, the more the month passes, thus the heavier the burden becomes. Everyday moments no longer elicit my typical reaction. My typical dose of strength from the Lord is not enough to make it through these July days, I must request more. Even though I don’t welcome this annual strife, I acknowledge that this extra dose of sadness does not take away from my healing and does not cloud the joy I’ve learned to embrace. I will give myself permission to grieve on this day too. I will forgive myself for wishing away the rest of this month. I will choose joy, as I humbly seek more strength for this weary mother’s heart of mine. I will stop anticipating next year’s anniversary will be easier, because each year delivers a similar bundle of tucked away emotion. Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month has begun. PAIL Remembrance Day is 10/15, and PAIL Remembrance Sunday is the Sunday after that, on 10/16 (although there is nothing wrong with doing it a different Sunday in October). Participation is simple:
1) Ask your church to place (or allow you to place) a bouquet of loose, long-stemmed yellow roses on the altar. 2) Ask for an announcement in the bulletin stating the flowers are in remembrance of babies who have died during pregnancy and early infancy and in honor of the families walking that road of loss. Such families are invited to take a rose home after the service. 3) Ask for a similar announcement to be made from the pulpit, especially the reminder that anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby in pregnancy or infancy may take a rose home after the service, That is all. For more information, see our PAIL Remembrance Sunday page: http://www.naomiscircle.org/pail-sunday.html It is a great joy to see others establishing church-based ministries to reach out to parents on the journey of pregnancy loss. Today, we are honored share an article from Erin Kay, founder of the new Lake Murray Presbyterian Pregnancy and Infant Loss Ministry. If you are interested in beginning such a ministry at your church and would like input, please contact Kristi Bothur at [email protected]  “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
When we think about the Bible verse from Matthew “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” we are met with reassurance that our Savior will always be with us. Parents who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss can relate to this verse. Even though our babies can no longer be rocked in our arms, some never given the opportunity, they are with us until the very end of the age. During my time working with hospice, I would ask men and women during the assessment preceding their final days about their family and their children. Most of the time, these mothers and fathers would not hesitate to mention their miscarried children or children lost in infancy, and their resounding response would be how they carried that loss their whole life and the joy they have knowing they will soon be reunited with their children in heaven, some whose face they have yet to see. Lake Murray Presbyterian Church (LMPC) does a phenomenal job caring for and protecting the children of our church and the children that live in the Chapin community. I am proud to announce LMPC will now take a step further and will begin caring for families who have lost children in pregnancy and infant loss. This particular loss impacts an estimated 1 in 4 or more of all pregnancies. These losses are often grieved privately and in a variety of ways by those impacted by this type loss. Pregnancy and infant loss not only impacts the parents, but also siblings, grandparents, and friends to name a few. On January 24, 2016, LMPC will honor these important lives during both 8:30 and 10:30 worship for our first annual PAIL Sunday. Based on the template set forth by Kristi Bothur, founder of Namoi’s Circle, LMPC’s PAIL Sunday is our way of gently saying, we honor any child lost in pregnancy or infancy that has touched the lives of our church and community members. Please invite friends in our community to this service, who could benefit from this gesture. The LMPC PAIL Ministry will begin a four week small group session for families and individuals impacted by this type loss on Sunday afternoons, beginning on February 21, 2016 from 3:30-5:00pm in a private room at our church. These group sessions will be scripture, topic and discussion focused with a Healing and Wholeness service to conclude the group. Anyone impacted by this loss is welcome to attend. Free child care and light refreshments will be provided. Our address is 2721 Dutch Fork Road, Chapin, SC 29036. Follow the yellow balloons. The topics for each week will be:
ERIN KAY, LMSW (803) 673-3724 [email protected] https://www.facebook.com/groups/LMPCPAIL/ https://www.twitter.com/lkmryprespail PAIL is a non-profit, self-help organization that serves as a safe haven of comfort and hope for others who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy or infant in their life. Through support groups, community outreach and various grief resources, PAIL is devoted to fostering awareness and healing in a nurturing and Christian atmosphere.  I hear that on the Earth below
This is a special season With lights and songs and gifts and such, And Jesus is the reason! In the place I would have lived Are strings of light that blink and shine, But you should see the light up here That glows from Jesus all the time! In the place I would have lived Carols play, and special songs, But you should hear the music that The angels sing here all day long! In the place I would have lived, Gifts are giv’n on Christmas Day, But you should feel the joy we feel Because God’s gift is here to stay! In the place I would have lived, Tears have flowed because I’m gone. My family wishes I were there To see and hear and feel it all. But in this place where I now live, It’s Christmas all day, all year long, And the sights and sounds I’d see with them Are pure, unblemished by all wrong. So on this day that would have been My first Christmas on the Earth, Mama, Daddy, you need to know I’m celebrating Jesus’ birth! When you sing songs to worship Him, I’m singing with the angels, too. I’m never closer than when we all Praise Him for our life anew. I know this life began for me Sooner than you thought it would. I know your hearts are hurting now, And you would change things if you could. But in this place, where you’ll come, too, We’ll be together, forever. And there will be no more good-byes When we celebrate Christmas in heaven – together! By Kristi Bothur, mother of seven (two on earth and five in heaven) Almost as soon as I lost Naomi, I was asking about when and where the hospital's pregnancy loss support group met. I knew instinctively that I would need a supportive community to help me survive. But for some, attending a support group is scary and feeling intrusive. Some feel that it is just too soon to expose their raw emotions to a group of strangers. Others feel like it has been too long to benefit from it. When is the right time to attend a pregnancy loss support group?
If you are in the Columbia, SC, area and would like to find a support group, please visit our support groups page for local contacts. There are two support groups for pregnancy loss meeting this week, both on Thursday night. See below for the details.  Naomi's Circle
Thu Apr 9, 2015, 6:30–7:45 pm EDT Naomi's Circle has two support groups meeting at the same time. The Parenting/Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) group is for women who have experienced one or more losses, and are either pregnant or have another living child (born before or after loss). Women without living children are welcome, but babies may be present. The HOPE Group is for couples who have experienced a recent loss, whether or not they have living children. No minors come to HOPE group meetings. Both groups meet at Spring Valley Baptist Church in the Platt Educational Building on the 2nd Thursday of the month, from 6:30-7:45 p.m. Sometimes the groups meet together and sometimes separately, depending on the needs of those present. Free childcare is available without advance registration. For more information, write to [email protected] or call (803) 728-1162. Memories Support Group Thu Apr 9, 2015, 7–8:30 pm EDT Meets in the North Tower of Lexington Medical Center on the second Thursday of every month at 7:00 p.m. For more information, contact Corrine Barbian at 803-781-1003.  The following support groups are meeting the week of January 26:
Art of Coping with Loss (Tue Jan 27, 2015, 6:30–7:30 pm EST) This support group meets at Vive Church (2620 Clemson Road, Columbia, SC) on the fourth Tuesday of every month from 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. It is sponsored by Dunbar Funerals and Cremations Northeast Chapel and led by Dr. Dee Gulledge, who uses the arts for grief expression. For more information, call 803-788-6310 or 803-730-2220. Wee Remember Support Group (Tue Jan 27, 2015, 6:30–8:30 pm EST) Meets at Palmetto Baptist Hospital at 6:30 p.m. on the fourth Tuesday of every month; for more information, contact Rosalie Blair at 803-296-5636. If you know of other support groups in the greater Columbia area, please contact us at [email protected]. The Christmas season is in full bloom, but when you were expecting this to be your baby's first Christmas, or when you were expecting to still be expecting, the holidays can be nothing short of excruciating, a reminder of dreams unfulfilled. With that in mind, here is our annual sharing of the poem "First Christmas", written by Naomi's Circle founder Kristi Bothur. Our prayers are with all parents of babies in Heaven, especially those who are new to this journey. 
"First Christmas"
I hear that on the Earth below This is a special season With lights and songs and gifts and such, And Jesus is the reason! In the place I would have lived Are strings of light that blink and shine, But you should see the light up here That glows from Jesus all the time! In the place I would have lived Carols play, and special songs, But you should hear the music that The angels sing here all day long! In the place I would have lived, Gifts are giv’n on Christmas Day, But you should feel the joy we feel Because God’s gift is here to stay! In the place I would have lived, Tears have flowed because I’m gone. My family wishes I were there To see and hear and feel it all. But in this place where I now live, It’s Christmas all day, all year long, And the sights and sounds I’d see with them Are pure, unblemished by all wrong. So on this day that would have been My first Christmas on the Earth, Mama, Daddy, you need to know I’m celebrating Jesus’ birth! When you sing songs to worship Him, I’m singing with the angels, too. I’m never closer than when we all Praise Him for our life anew. I know this life began for me Sooner than you thought it would. I know your hearts are hurting now, And you would change things if you could. But in this place, where you’ll come, too, We’ll be together, forever. And there will be no more good-byes When we celebrate Christmas in heaven – together! By Kristi Bothur, mother of six (two on earth and four in heaven) Join Naomi's Circle founder Kristi Bothur today on her blog,This Side of Heaven, where she encourages non-loss friends and family not to worry about "reminding" a loved one of their loss...because a parent never, ever, forgets. 
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Here you will find articles intended to help you in your journey. Some will be reviews of websites and books. Some will be devotionals, some general articles, and some will be guest bloggers. Feel free to comment and let us know if there is something you would like to see addressed here. Subscribe here!
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