Apparently October is THE month for creating a "31 Days of..." series on various websites and blogs. Here at Naomi's Circle, we are going to have "31 Days of Healing Resources" - websites, books, and other resources for parents grieving the loss of a baby. Today, we are featuring the book An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart by Christine O'Keeffe Lafner. This little book is a perfect gift for a bereaved parent. It doesn't tell you what to do, how to feel, or even what to believe. It's a collection of reflections and Scripture - a brief story or reflection (about 200 words) on the left and a corresponding Scripture passage on the right. It is divided into like topics, including a section for dads. It doesn't preach, it just sits in your hands and invites you to feel and to join with the greater community of parents with babies in Heaven, letting you know that you are not alone and that yes, you will survive. It is published by Loyola Press, and we want to give a special shout-out to them for partnering with us to help us purchase these in bulk every three months for our our Mommy to Mommy Outreach ministry to included in our Brie Bags for Columbia-area hospitals. Is there a resource you would like to see featured here? Contact us and let us know. DISCLAIMER: Naomi's Circle has received no free materials or any kind of financial return for any of the reviews on our website. We just want to share what is helpful with fellow parents of babies in Heaven.
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Nine women gathered at Spring Valley Baptist Church on Saturday, September 4, for the first Naomi's Circle Craft Day, to work on projects for the Mommy to Mommy Outreach. Over the next couple of hours, the pleasant chatter of friends getting acquainted and the hum of sewing machines filled the room as the volunteers worked together to create items meant to encourage parents at one of the hardest moments they would endure - the death of their baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth. At one table, women cut flannel pieces that would be made into memorial cloth diapers, soft hats, as well as matching drawstring "Brie Bags" - bags that would hold these precious items as well as the book Empty Cradle, Full Heart, an Embracing Evan teddy bear, and information about Naomi's Circle. At the next table, Mommy to Mommy Outreach founders Sarah Hackett and Rachel Raper led the sewing part of the project, carefully stitching together the handmade portions of the Brie Bags. Since the beginning of the summer, they have distributed forty-five Brie Bags to three local hospitals - Lexington Medical Center, Palmetto Baptist, and Palmetto Richland - to be shared with bereaved parents. They have committed to providing five bags per month at each hospital. At the third table, Naomi's Circle founder Kristi Bothur led the rest of the women in making memorial key chains by gluing patterned scrapbook paper onto small Jenga-game-style blocks and then sealing them with Mod Podge. After we add an eye screw and key ring, they will be ready to be personalized by using a permanent marker to write a name, Scripture, date, or other meaningful words. These will be shared with a select number of local doctor's offices - about fifteen per month for each office - to be given, along with helpful information, to patients experiencing a loss. Several complete Brie Bags and over twenty key chains were finished thanks to Saturday's volunteers! However, the need is ongoing and, as is often the case in ministry, the workers are few. Would you like to help? We need individuals to help with both sewing Brie Bags and contents and with making memorial key chains - both as they are able and as a regular part of our Mommy to Mommy Craft Team. We need church and community groups that will invite us in to share our story and lead them in a Naomi's Circle Craft Day of their own. We need groups to adopt a doctor's office or hospital for a month or more, committing to making the items need during those times. We also need people to pray that this work will be led by the Lord and that we will be sensitive to His leading. Whether or not you have experienced the loss of a baby yourself, through your involvement, you can play a key role in letting bereaved parents know that they are not alone, and that God has not forgotten them. For more information about any of these, to donate fabric or blocks, or to help financially, please contact us through our Outreach page or write to us at naomiscircle@gmail.com. Beginning September 4, Naomi's Circle will be sponsoring a weekly Bible study for women who have lost a baby during pregnancy or early infancy. We will be using Teske Drake's book Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow. This ten-week study will meet at Spring Valley Baptist Church on Wednesdays from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m. during their normal mid-week activities. Classes are available for children of all ages, and there are additional Bible studies if husbands would like to come along, too For more information, contact us at naomiscircle@gmail.com. The following groups are meeting this week in the Columbia, SC, area. For more information, see our Events page. Naomi's Circle (Thu Aug 8, 2013, 6:30–7:45 pm EDT) Naomi's Circle PAL (Parenting/Pregnancy After Loss) Support group and the HOPE Group (for couples who have experienced a recent loss) will meet together this month. Dads are especially invited for a special time of fellowship. Meets at Spring Valley Baptist Church in NE Columbia. For more information, e-mail naomiscircle@gmail.com. Memories Support Group (Thu Aug 8, 2013, 7–8:30 pm EDT) Meets in the North Tower of Lexington Medical Center on the second Thursday of every month at 7:00 p.m. For more information, contact Corrine Barbian at 803-781-1003. Today we are remembering the life of Evan Michael Raper, the son of Rachel Raper, one of the co-founders of our Mommy to Mommy Outreach. Check out the M2M blog to see a poem she has written and for more information about how to be involved.
Join us over at Still Standing today for an article written by Naomi's Circle founder Kristi Bothur about the ocean of grief and those who helped her survive it. If you are visiting us as a result of that article, we welcome you. Please look around at the different resources here, and if you are in the Columbia, SC, area, look at our Support Group Directory to find a group that can encourage you. It's summer, but many churches are already planning for the fall. Do you have a group in your church that would like a community service project to help with? Contact us about helping our Mommy to Mommy Outreach by cutting out fabric pieces for our memorial bags, diapers, and caps; by following simple tutorials to sew; or by making simple memorial key chains for us to share with parents who have lost a baby through miscarriage. We will provide the materials and instructions, but we need your time and skills to help meet our monthly goal of providing 15 Brie Bags and Embracing Evan bears to Lexington Medical Center and Palmetto Baptist. You can also donate financially to help purchase the bears and books that go in the bags. Contact us for more information! We will gladly talk with you about what role you can play in this important local ministry of care and compassion. We are also happy to have someone from Naomi's Circle come and speak to your group about the work we are doing and how else you can be involved in sharing it with others. There are a lot of articles out there about what not to say when someone loses a baby, or horror stories about people saying the wrong thing. But in reality, in that moment, a lot of people say the right things. Things like, "I'm sorry," or, "I'm praying for you." Or they do the right things, like bringing by a meal, or sending a card, or giving a hug, or just sitting in silence. It's in the days and weeks and months to come that it can be hard know what to do or say. But that is sometimes the most crucial time for bereaved parents, when the funeral is over and family has gone home and they are struggling to find their "new normal", if that even exists. What can a friend do then? A friend of Naomi's Circle has written a wonderful article on her "No Holding Back" blog. The article is called, "How to Help a Friend Survive the First Year After Pregnancy or Infant Loss." I hope you'll read it and then come back and comment here about what helped you in your first year. I'm often asked the question, "My friend has just had a loss. What can I do to help?" Of course, each person's loss is unique, as is their response to it. A miscarriage is different from an ectopic pregnancy, which is different from a stillbirth, which is different from the death of an infant. Not that one is harder or easier, but each is different. Not only that, but my miscarriage is not the same as my friend's or my co-workers or your sister's. Proverbs 14:10 says it well: "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." That said, there are some things that specifically seem to bring comfort to a grieving mother after the death of her baby at any stage of pregnancy or infancy. Some things that helped me, especially after the death of Naomi:
If you have had a loss, what specific gestures from friends were comforting to you? Share in the comments below. Naomi's Circle members Rachel Raper and Sarah Hackett were featured recently on WIS-TV news. They shared about the Mommy to Mommy Outreach that they have begun and invited others to take part. Tonight (Sunday, May 26), Sarah Hackett and Naomi's Circle founder Kristi Bothur will be interviewed for Brandon Wilson's radio show on 103.1 FM (KISS FM). Tune in at 6:00 p.m. to hear them share about this outreach and about Naomi's Circle in general. We praise God for these opportunities to spread the word in Columbia, SC, that bereaved parents are not alone. We welcome the chance to share our story and these resources with others. If you would like us to share our ministry with your church or civic organization, or with a local media outlet, please contact us at naomiscircle@gmail.com or at (803) 728-1162. |
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